Redemption
by alatariel-gildaen
Summary: After Snape's death, the fates grant him a second chance on earth to right a wrong. How can Snape use his knowledge of the future to prevent disaster in the past? Currently on hiatus.
1. Prologue

**A/N: This little plot bunny has been going round in my head for a while. I'm sorry if it takes me forever to update, I will be the first to fully admit that I'm pretty crap at updates. But I really like this idea, so I'm hoping to get it done as quick as possible. Hope you enjoy.**

* * *

As he looked into those deep, emerald eyes he felt regret. Regret, remorse and a little fear.

Regret for the loss of his best friend, the only person he had ever truly loved, a loss that he had never gotten over.

Remorse for his criminal youth, for all the hatred acts that his heart had never been in.

And fear. Every act of penance had brought him a little closer to believing Lily may have forgiven him, but what if it wasn't enough? The last 23 years of life without her had been hell; an eternity without her, and no release of death to look forward to would be impossible.

The green eyes faded from view, the pain in his neck seemed to diminish, and all turned to black.

* * *

Light slowly came back to his vision, although all he could see were rough shapes and outlines. He was aware of the noise of drunken revelry coming from nearby, and the smells of ale and tobacco smoke reached his nostrils.

Was this the afterlife? No... This was something else. There was something terribly familiar here, but his brain was struggling to keep up.

He was being manhandled roughly through an open doorway. Two indeterminate figures sat huddled together in front of him, and the hands holding him pushed him forwards, closer. A voice close to his left ear muttered vague words, although his brain only managed to pick out a couple. "Scum." "Spying." "Albus."

At the last word his senses seemed to return fully, along with an intense rush of knowledge, though he did not fully understand it.

The figures in front of him were Albus Dumbledore and Sybil Trelawny. Sybil gazing at him with impatience ill disguised by a mask of polite interest. Albus staring at him as though trying to read his mind, a mingled look of bitter disappointment and vague fear on his features. The man behind him pushing him forwards was Aberforth, waiting for approval from his brother to eject the troublemaker.

Severus looked up and caught the sight of his own reflection in a window behind Albus and Trelawny. He was a young man again. This was the fateful night he had overheard that blasted prophecy, and, not understanding the full implications of his actions, had run to the Dark Lord and told him everything. This was the night he had inadvertently set Lily on her path to destruction.

He was vaguely aware of Albus rising from his seat and demanding to know what he had been doing. But he could not tear his eyes from his own reflection as a full understanding of his situation swept over him like a tide.

He did not know how, but he was back. The fates had given him a second chance, a chance to rectify one huge mistake. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as even more understanding came to him. He had redeemed himself, and he was being given this rare opportunity to make the world better. If he chose his original path all this would be taken from him, but if he could change things, improve things, his life, and the lives of others would be saved. These understandings came to him almost as a whisper, and though he found it hard to believe he knew they were true.

The young Severus reached up and traced a finger over the contours of his own face, hardly daring to breathe in case the spell was broken and he was cast back to a future where the Dark Lord had taken over, and where he and Lily and Abus were dead.

Albus was still talking. Severus forced himself back to the present and to what the old man was saying.

"...listening? What are you doing here, Mister Snape?"

Severus' eyes flashed back to his reflection in the window. Taking a deep breath and swallowing to steady his nerves, he turned to his mentor and said, "I have to speak with you, Sir. It is a matter of life and death."


	2. Chapter 1

"Whose, precisely?"

He did not want to be too forthright with information. Even Xenophilius Lovegood would be hard pressed to believe a story of 'I survived death and I've travelled through time eighteen years to save the life of the woman I love.' Swallowing once more he simply answered, "Mine. Yours. Countless others."

Albus looked Severus in the face appraisingly, then seemed to make his decision. He turned back to Trelawny who had watched the exchange with an air of bemusement, held out his hand and said, "Thank you, Ms Trelawny. Term starts on September 1st. I will be in touch." He then turned to his brother and said, "That will be all, Aberforth."

As far as Severus was concerned there was no mistaking the tone that she was being dismissed, although it still took several minutes of flustered 'thank yous' before the Seer finally left.

The temperature in the room seemed to drop several degrees as Albus turned his icy glare once more upon Severus. "Well?" he demanded.

Severus seemed unable to find his own voice. Convincing the old man was not going to be easy, particularly if he did not want to give himself away. "I.... made a mistake. I realise now the error of my judgements."

"I don't believe you, Severus." Dumbledore drew his wand. "I wouldn't try to escape, Severus, not until I have my answers. Why are you here? Why this particular night?" He raised an eyebrow. "You were sent to spy on me, were you not?"

"I do not deny it. But I swear I will not relay what I have heard to him." He took a step closer to the older man, who raised his wand warningly. "Please, Albus." He took another step, and slowly reached inside his robes for his own wand. In response Albus raised his even higher, but Severus handed his over, placating the older man slightly. "I am unarmed. I want to... I just need to... " Words were failing him. "He must be stopped," he said simply. Severus looked Albus in the eyes, imploring him to believe.

An age seemed to pass until, finally, Dumbledore lowered his wand. "Come here," he said. Severus took a few tentative steps forward until Dumbledore instructed him to stop. He looked directly into the younger man's eyes, looked through him, looked into his mind. Severus had been expecting this, and although he was truthful in his wish to stop the Dark Lord, he couldn't allow Dumbledore full access to his memories.

"Why are using Occlumency against me, Severus? And where did you learn it?"

'From you,' Severus thought. Out loud, taking care with his every word, he said, "It is necessary for me to keep... certain things... hidden, for now. As for who taught me, that is not important. Allow me to help, I have information that could be of use to you."

"And what information is this, Severus?"

'Think, fool, think.' What information did he know that would be useful at this period in time? The beginning of the 1980s.... Recalling information from 18 years ago as if it had just happened was proving to be difficult. He became vaguely aware of a scurrying noise from the corner of he room. A rat ran past, carrying in its mouth a lump of bread dropped by one of the Inn's guests. The Hog's Head had never had particularly high standards of hygiene. Severus watched the rat disappear into a crack in the wall, and an image of round faced, slightly portly man with small, watery eyes popped into his mind.

"Wormtail...." he breathed.

"Wormtail?" repeated Dumbledore. "What is 'Wormtail?'"

Severus' mind was working overtime. The little traitor could be stopped, here, now, before any damage to his precious Lily could take place. "Not an 'it.' A 'he.' Of sorts. Peter Pettigrew is a traitor, a spy working against The Order of the Phoenix. He is a Death Eater. He has been passing information to the Dark Lord about your operations. He must be taken into custody immediately."

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed. In a hushed voice he said, "The Order of the Phoenix is a secret society. How could you possibly kn-"

"I know because one of your members has been giving us your secrets," Severus cut across him, the half-lie coming to him easily. "It can be easily proved. Here." He rolled up the left sleeve of his robes exposing the Dark Mark on his forearm. "All Death Eaters are branded with this. Pettigrew will have one, I assure you."

Dumbledore appeared lost in thought. After a minute in silence he said, "And if all this is true, what then am I to do with you, Severus?"

Severus paused. What then? He didn't know. Would his position as spy still be tenable after he had betrayed one of the Dark Lord's Death Eaters? Would he even have the same value to the Dark Lord without revealing the prophecy to him? Would this one piece of information be enough to keep him out of Azkaban if Dumbledore decided to hand him over to the Aurors?

No; Dumbledore was a man who believed in second chances, Seveurs knew that much. Steeling himself, he replied, "Anything. I just want to redeem myself."

The blue eyes, cold and hard as ice a moment ago seemed to soften. "I understand, Severus. I really do." Handing Severus' wand back to him, he held out his left arm and said, "Take my arm. We have work to do."

* * *

As soon as Severus took hold of the proffered arm, he felt Dumbledore twist away from him, and he was moving through black, restrictive nothingness.

They reappeared, moments later in a clearing of a dense wood. All around them it was dark, and animals could be heard prowling and scurrying nearby. Severus felt exposed and nervous.

"Where are we?" he said, and his voice seemed to echo like gunshot.

"Somewhere safe, for now." He raised his wand, muttered "Expecto Patronum," and Severus saw the outline of a silver phoenix shoot from the end of his wand. "You understand, Severus, that I cannot take you to our main base of operations, not yet. Not until I have concrete proof of your intentions."

Severus nodded. He hadn't expected it to be this easy.

"I have just summoned key members of The Order of the Phoenix. They will arrive here shortly, but you cannot be seen. And, I'm sorry, but if your intentions are not noble, I cannot allow you to escape." Dumbledore raised his wand, pointing it directly at Severus. He instantly felt his own body go rigid, his arms snapped to his side and he was unable to move. "I am sure you understand." Waving his wand like a conductor's baton, Dumbledore made Severus glide through the air until he was hidden by a thick group of trees. Moments later someone apparated nearby.

"What is this emergency, Albus? And why here? Why not back at Headquarters?" came the voice of Remus Lupin. Severus could just see him through a gap in the trees, pale, scruffy, too thin.

"In good time, Remus. I will explain all when everyone else gets here. In the meantime, stay alert."

Others arrived shortly after, Moody, grizzled, battle scarred but with both eyes still intact. As soon as he appeared he wandered around the area setting up protection spells, his paranoia as strong as it had been when Severus had known him. Seconds after him there came Sirius Black, that hated figure, arrogant and proud. He settled himself on a nearby log, his legs stretched out as if he were relaxing at home.

Next came the traitor, Pettigrew. Severus could see his nervous face. He kept twitching and looking over his shoulder as if expecting someone to jump out on him at any second.

And finally came his Lily, arm in arm with James Potter. Severus' breath caught in his chest. She was as beautiful as he remembered her; her red hair framing the delicate, porcelain skin. Those perfect almond shaped emerald eyes that always seemed to glitter with laughter. Her rosebud lips parted slightly. Her delicate, soft curves and slender frame. A slightly prominent tummy told Severus that she was already a few months pregnant. The idea that she had been sleeping with James cut through him. He couldn't bear the thought and so return his gaze to her face. She was perfection. A goddess walking on earth that should have been his. Seeing her holding James so close was like a knife to the heart.

His reverie was broken by Dumbledore speaking to the assembled crowd.

"I have called you here, as I have received news of a rather disturbing nature. I did not wish to involve all members of the Order in case this news proves false. However, each of you, I felt, needs to be here to witness this directly. Alastor," he said, turning to face the Auror. "There is a Death Eater here tonight. As to his identity, I am not yet sure."

Dumbledore's eyes flickered briefly to the spot where Severus was hidden, and he understood that if his information didn't prove true, he would be handed over to Moody. There would be one more Death Eater for Azkaban tonight. It was just a case of who.

"Remus, please take a step forward." The werewolf did as he was told, looking confused. "Please, roll up your left sleeve for me."

Once again, the werewolf did as he was told, but also said, "I assure you, Albus, I am not involved in anything Dark, no matter what other Order members may think of me!"

But Albus was not focused on the werewolf's protests. Instead he had been gauging the reaction of the small, watery eyed man who had been nervously backing towards the edge of the clearing. Alastor Moody noticed Dumbledore's eyeline and saw the young man, saw the fear in his eyes and drew his wand. "And where d'you think you're going then, eh lad?"

Both Moody and Dumbledore moved as quick as lightening and were on the young man in a second. Moody held him still, and despite Pettigrew's rather ineffectual protests, Dumbledore forced up the sleeve on his left arm. There, a stark black against his pale skin, was the image of a skull, a snake protruding from it's lipless grin. Dumbledore looked, not saddened by this discovery, but disappointed at himself. Disappointed that he had placed his trust in one not worthy of him.

"Alastor, take him away for questioning."

Pettigrew was sobbing now, begging for forgiveness. Severus caught words such as, "You don't understand...." and, "He was going to kill me..." before Moody took him back to the Ministry by Side-Along Apparation.

"I'm sorry you all had to see that. I thought it best that you, as his closest friends, found out first. And Remus; I am sorry if you feel I used you to expose him."

Lily spoke first, tears choking her voice, although to Severus it still sounded like the dawn chorus. "How did you know?"

"I received information from a new source. And now I think it time for that source to reveal himself." Dumbledore waved his wand and the binding spell upon Severus was lifted. Nerves made it difficult to breathe. He hadn't been expecting this; to have to show himself to this hated group of people together with his one true love, and so soon. It had barely been a matter of hours since he had felt the sting of Nagini's teeth driving deep into his neck, since he had felt the fear that his life protecting Potter had been in vain, and now this? He tentatively took a few steps out from behind the trees.

"YOU!" Lily's voice took on such a harsh quality that Severus barely recognised it. It was laced with such pure venom, that Severus seemed to shrink slightly. He was lost for words. "Albus, you can't trust him! He's one of them, he's a Death Eater!"

"He was, Lily. Not now."

Severus looked around the clearing. There were four wands all pointing in direction, four faces etched with disbelief and hatred. Three of those faces he couldn't care less about, but seeing his Lily looking at him with such disgust, such rancor broke his heart.

"Lils, I-"

"Don't call me that!" she spat,while at the same time Potter shouted, "Don't you dare even speak to my wife!"

Clearly sensing danger, Albus intervened. "It takes time to build trust, I understand, and it can be broken in a moment. But I would hope that everyone here would trust me, and trust my judgement. Severus wishes to start again, to turn over a new leaf, to bring about the end of Voldemort. We knew there was a spy in our midst, and thanks to Severus' information that spy has been found. I do not expect you all to be friends, but I would hope that you can at least put aside your differences. Our end is the same. Never forget that. Please, everyone lower your wands."

Very slowly four sets of wands were lowered, and Severus let out a breath he hadn't realised he had been holding.

"I don't like this Albus. He's scum. At the first sign of betrayal I'll take him out personally." Sirius spat on the floor in Snape's direction as he spoke then disapparated without another word.

Lily turned to her husband, and without a backwards glance towards Severus said, "Let's get out of here." They disapparated together without another word.

Severus stared at the empty spot where she had been standing moments previously, misery filling every fibre of his being. He vaguely heard Lupin mutter, "Welcome on board," before he too vanished, leaving him alone with Dumbledore.

A look of deep understanding seemed to pass over Dumbledore's face, one which made Severus highly uncomfortable. "I cannot say that one day she will feel the same about you. But I am certain that one day forgiveness will come." He paused, allowing time for Severus to look away and impatiently brush away the tears that had formed in his eyes. "You have done a very brave thing today, in coming to me. I would like for you to accompany me back to Hogwarts. We have many, many things to discuss."

Nodding almost imperceptibly, and with the weight of the world on his shoulders, Severus slipped once more into the compressing dark, emerging moments later within a minutes walk of the place he had died not long ago.


	3. Chapter 2

Severus was utterly riddled with exhaustion. He looked around Dumbledore's office, so familiar and yet so alien to him and yearned for nothing more than to go to his own personal quarters and sleep for a week. Except... right now they weren't his personal quarters. Thinking about his current reality made his head hurt. He wanted desperately to speak more with Lily, but thinking about her made his heart ache.

The more he thought about his current situation, the more he felt nameless fears and doubts nag at him. Before he had given the Dark Lord news of the prophecy his standing had been fairly low. He had never given much relish to the random acts of torture many Death Eaters counted as fun, and as such he was considered one of the lowest of the Death Eaters, used mostly for his brains and potion making skills than for anything else. The spying mission had quite possibly been his last chance of redemption before the Dark Lord tired of him.

There was so much information he could give, and yet so much more that he didn't know. And how to relay what he did know without giving himself away? Dumbledore was pressing him for anything that could help to destroy this Darkest of Dark Wizards, and Severus was, frankly, lost. The Dumbledore he had known from his previous life had insisted on keeping him so much in the dark about what he and Potter were doing. And everything he could think of which may have been of use hadn't actually happened yet.

He felt lost, hopeless, a victim of the fates who were laughing at his ridiculous situation. And so utterly, utterly alone.

He was aware of Albus speaking, although he could not bring himself to fully listen. Cutting across the older man he said, "I'm sorry, Albus. I really do not know how much use I can be to you. I have already told you all I can."

Dumbledore peered sadly at Severus over the top his half-moon spectacles. He sighed deeply and said, "I wish I could believe that, Severus, but while you continue to employ Occlumency against me you must surely understand my disbelief."

Severus indicated his understanding with a brief jerk of the head.

"Although..." continued Albus, "perhaps you may be able to assist us in other ways. Remus Lupin has been trying, with so far little success, to infiltrate a group of potential Death Eaters. Many werewolves are turning to Voldemort, and we are trying to use this information to our advantage. They feel that under him they will have certain rights not currently available to them under the current regime. Perhaps you could help? Of course, this will probably have to wait until the current full moon cycle is over."

"It doesn't have to. I could brew him Wolfsbane."

"Wolfsbane?" replied Dumbledore questioningly.

'Damnit!' thought Severus with pure savagery. What an elementary mistake to make! Wolfsbane Potion would not be invented for at least another ten years! His mind worked overtime to cover his mistake. "It is a potion I... have been working on... It will enable a werewolf to transform safely. Keep his mind. I am... certain it will work."

"This potion hasn't yet been tested then?" Dumbledore seemed to x-ray Severus with his bright blue eyes.

Severus swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. "It will work, Albus. I know it."

"What, exactly, are you hiding from me, Severus?"

"Please, Albus, I want the same ends as you. The potion will work, I assure you. I have brewed it on many occasions, and have witnessed that it works. It is perfectly safe. Forgive me for avoiding answering certain questions. I have good reason. But I swear on all I hold dear I wil not betray you."

At that moment a handsome tawny owl appeared at Dumbledore's window. Pausing only to give Severus one last, searching look he crossed to the window to allow the owl access. Dumbledore untied the message that the owl had brought. The owl accepted a treat, ruffled its feathers and took flight again.

Dumbledore read the message, a small frown creasing his brow, occasionally looking up to glance at Severus. After a few minutes he placed the letter on his desk, and, without looking at Severus, began to talk.

"This is an initial report from Alastor Moody on the questioning of Peter Pettigrew. There is an... inconsistency here I would like explained."

Severus remained silent. Years of conditioning dealing with the Dark Lord told him to hold his counsel.

"Pettigrew has confessed something, which I must admit, explains a good deal. It would appear that he is an unregistered animagus. He has been able to spy on certain members of the Order using his disguise. Only certain members. Others, it would appear, would have been able to recognise his disguise instantly. Is there anything here you would care to elaborate on, Severus?"

Once again, Severus remained silent.

"No? Allow me to continue. There were two other unregistered animagi running amok whislt they were at school. They had code names for each other. Pettigrew was able to turn into a rat. Apparently he used the code name 'Wormtail.' Does this sound familiar, Severus? He has also told the Ministry that other than his closest friends only Voldemort knows this particular piece of information. He has confessed this twice. Once to Alastor Moody in his initial questioning, and again under the use of Veritaserum to confirm his confession." Dumbledore finally raised his gaze to Severus. "Do you see the position I am now put in? How is it that you knew the name 'Wormtail,' when only a handful of other people knew? The way I see it, one person is lying, and I am presented with two options. One, a man who has confessed under Veritaserum, the other being a man I know is employing Occlumency against me. What am I to make of this, Severus?"

Severus licked his lips, his mouth suddenly dry. How could he have been so foolish? He took a deep breath and said, "Yes, I am employing Occlumency. It is necessary, I have already told you this. I cannot give you the reason; but I feel it safest for everyone that I keep this one secret. I beg you, Albus, not to press this one matter. I will do everything I can to help, and anything I think of that can be of use to you I will present to you immediately." He swallowed. "You clearly already know of my... feelings... for Lily. I would die for her, a hundred times over. I can no longer fight for a side that fights against her. You must believe that."

For a split second Severus thought he saw two different emotions flick across Dumbledore's face. There was an understanding acceptance of his words, and something else... Something... questioning? Remembering? Severus couldn't quite place it, and as soon as he noticed this strange emotion it had vanished. Nodding to himself, Dumbledore spoke. "We will protect you, Severus, if you choose it. However, if you feel you can, I would like you to return to Voldemort. It would be far easier for us to use a spy that is ready-made, so to speak, than for us to attempt to infiltrate his forces from scratch."

Severus thought hard about this offer. "In my current position, I do not feel that my being a spy is viable. I am not close enough to the Dark Lord to prove useful as a spy. However, if that is what you request of me, if that is what must be done, then it shall be."

Dumbledore offered a sad half-smile. "Severus, I would not send anyone to him who did not go willingly. If you wish to stay under our protection, you may."

Severus nodded slowly. It was a strange thought, the idea that he would no longer have to live a double life. Of course, desertion of the Death Eaters would drastically reduce his life expectancy. On the other hand, although, no other deserters had ever been under Dumbledore's protection. But then, how could he give up his position? If the world was going to be different, those things he knew before would not be true now. He was in a truly unique position, to be able to save Lily and bring down the Dark Lord; and to save countless other lives who had died at the hands of the Death Eaters. The words came from his lips before he was able to stop them. "I'll do it, Professor." He closed his eyes and put his head in his hands. "Do not allow Remus to carry on this folly of attempting to join. They will see through his facade in a second. I can lie to the Dark Lord. I'll do it."

"Thank you, Severus." The younger man raised his head and opened his eyes. His fate was sealed. Dumbledore continued. "We need to find a way to raise your standing without doing damage to our own cause."

Fatigue crashed over him like a wave as the realisation of what he had agreed to do sank in. "I shall have to return to him tonight. He is expecting a report on your movements"

"And what shall you tell him, Severus?"

Memories came flooding back to him. Memories of the first time he had heard the prophecy. The Dark Lord had given him a cold smile, one that did not reach the red eyes. He had told him that he had done well and would be rewarded. His rewards turned out to be a lifetime of pain and servitude. Not this time.

"Anything you wish."

Peering over the top of his spectacles Dumbledore offered a half-smile. "We may be able to turn the situation to our advantage. I wish for you to return to him and tell him that you have been with me. Tell him that you spun me a tale of deepest remorse and that I believed you and welcomed you back with open arms. Tell him that I have agreed to protect you, and that you will use my naievety to gain my trust and bring him direct information. That should buy you some time."

Severus nodded, swallowed his nerves an said, "I must go to him. Now"

Dumbledore looked as though he was going to argue, but could see the determination mingled with exhaustion etched all over Severus' face."Alright," he finally agreed. "Come back to the Hogwarts gates tomorrow night, nine o'clock. I will meet you, and we will discuss your mission."

He rose in silence, Dumbledore accompanying him. They walked together, not speaking, to the Hogwarts gates where Severus would be able to apparate to the Dark Lord's side. As Dumbledore wished him a good night, a wave of cold dread washed over him. Twisting into to the compressing dark, and with his thoughts on his one true love, Severus wished for nothing more than for all of this to be over.

* * *

Moments later he reappeared in an unfamiliar, cavernous, candlelit room. The stone walls were carved with grotesque figures, in stark contrast to the benign faces peering out from the glass windows. It took Severus a moment to realise that he was in a church. Despite not being a religious man, the foul irony that the Dark Lord had desecrated ground holy to the muggles was not lost on him.

The Dark Lord was stood near the altar, his fingers interlocked in mockery of prayer. His closest Death Eaters stood in a circle around him, all of them cloaked and masked. Severus had not yet been afforded this highest honour of receiving his mask and could feel the scornful glares as he approached the Dark Lord.

Clearing his mind of any thoughts that could betray him, he got down to his knees, bowed his head and said, "I have good news, my Lord."

"And what news might this be, Snape? More failure to do my bidding, perhaps?"

Laughter rang out, echoing around the spacious room. He forced himself to stay calm. "No, my Lord. I may soon be in a position to bring you much information about Albus Dumbledore."

"You may soon? But, Severus, I sent you to get information today. How am I supposed to defeat Dumbledore if my Death Eaters fail me?" His voice, already cold as ice, slipped a further few degrees. "Perhaps you would like a reminder of what it is to incur my wrath..."

Severus blurted out, "No, wait-" whilst at the same time the Dark Lord nodded to one of his masked Death Eaters. A female voice screeched, _"Crucio!"_ A tiny part of Severus' mind registered that the voice belonged to none other than Bellatrix Lestrange before the blinding agony took hold of him. Every part of his body screamed out for release, but he forced his own mind to remain closed. After what could have been a lifetime the curse was lifted.

Heaving and retching on the floor, Severus felt a foot kick him in the side, forcing him onto his back. He stared up into the face of the Dark Lord and choked out the words, "Please, my Lord..."

Bellatrix had come to her master's side, her wand raised. She was simply awaiting the order to torment again. Severus turned his head away, trying to make himself as small as possible. The Dark Lord contemplated the broken man on the floor and raised his hand, signalling to his best lieutenant to stand down. The Dark Lord watched, waiting for Severus to speak.

"I... have... succeeded in... gaining his trust.." Severus managed to say between waves of pain. "I felt it... was the best way.... He is an old fool.... Willing to believe that anyone may change. I told him I wished to renounce my ways.... and he believed me. Welcomed me back with open arms.... If I can get close to him, he will tell me anything."

The Dark Lord watched him in silence for a while, then said in a low whisper. "I will know if you are lying to me, Snape." He raised his wand and Severus felt his face forced upwards until he was looking directly in to the gleaming, red, snake-like eyes. He had a split second to compose himself before he felt his mind being invaded. Forcing himself into calm, he let go of any feelings that may betray him.

Slowly, very slowly, a smile spread across the thin, lipless mouth. "You have done very well, Severus, very well indeed. I shall have much use for you over the coming months. Get up."

Fearful that his own body would betray him, Severus slowly rose to his feet. His muscles were still spasming; a ripple of mocking laughter told him that he had provided the best entertainment of the evening.

"Return to him, Severus. I want to know everything, _everything,_ that old fool is up to." Severus, nodded, and was about apparate away when the Dark Lord said, "Do not fail me again, Severus. I will not be so forgiving again."

With a sense of growing dread, Severus twisted in the air and vanished.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N My God! An update! **

Without even realising where he was going, Severus apparated into the street outside his former home. Spinner's End. He was about to approach the front door then hesitated. His father was still alive, living here. Severus had run away from home a couple of years earlier, after the death of his mother. He realised that he had, at this point, been drifting from place to place, living an almost nomadic existence, staying with whoever would take him in. His own home was not yet his, yet he had no-where else to go. He craved nothing more than his own roof over his head. His decision was made.

He looked at the run down end-of-terrace muggle dwelling, electric lighting visible through a crack in the curtains and walked to the front door cautiously, not knowing what he was doing, what he would say to the man. Swallowing his nerves he knocked three times. The front door opened a crack and after a moment a face, sickeningly familiar, appeared silhouetted.

As his father took in the face of his son, his only child, he appeared at first confused, then as comprehension reached his brain he failed to stiffle a sob. "S-Severus?" came his voice, rough, unlettered, still with the Northern twang that Severus himself had worked so hard to lose.

Words failed him. Severus merely nodded. He was unable to look his father in the eyes and looked to the sky. A few drops of rain fell on his face. Within moments the heavens had opened. His father threw the door fully open and stepped out into the rain.

"Come in, son, you'll catch your death."

Severus nodded weakly and followed his father inside. He paused a moment before stepping over the threshold, not sure of himself, or of what to expect from the man before him. His father looked old, tired and weak, much older than Severus would have expected.

Tears were falling freely down the older man's cheeks. "You came back," he said simply. There was no accusation in his voice.

Severus nodded. His throat was dry and he was in dire need of a Firewhiskey. Almost as if he read his son's mind, Tobias Snape said, "Can I get you a drink, son?" Severus nodded, still unable to speak. "I'll put the kettle on, you go sit down, I'll be through in a tick."

Finally finding his voice, Severus said, "I'd appreciate something stronger than tea."

His father stopped in his tracks. "Son, I'm dry. I haven't had a drink since... since your mum..." His voice broke again.

Severus had no idea. In his previous life he hadn't seen his father again after he left home. He had heard about the man's death but didn't go to the funeral. He had no idea his alcoholic father had tried to turn his life around. But if anyone could understand and appreciate the need to change, Severus did.

He waited in the sitting room whilst his father prepared the tea. Looking around the cramped room was a terribly surreal experience. Severus had kept much of the same furniture, having never had either the money or inclination to change it. However everything seemed much newer; the sofas less warn, the carpet less threadbare. A small television set in the corner of the room, one of the few things Severus hadn't kept, pronounced the news of the day; the Muggle Prime Minister, a beady eyed woman with a nose like a beak discussed her economic policy and her unwillingness to make u-turns.

His father came back into the room and switched the set off. "Horrible woman," he said. "Mark my words, she'll do no good for the likes of us." He looked Severus in the eyes. "Of people like me, I mean. Factories'll close, workers'll be out of work. The rich get richer under the likes of her." He passed Severus a mug of tea; he took it and inhaled the steam gratefully. "You'll be alright though, Sev, you always were clever."

In all his years this was the first time that he could recall receiving a compliment from his father. "Thank you," he croaked, unwilling to say more in case his voice betrayed the emotions he was feeling.

Inside he was a raging storm. Eighteen years of mistreatment at the hands of his father had been compounded by twenty years of bitter memories. And yet here in front of him was a man who genuinely seemed to have turned his life around; a need that Severus, of all people, could understand.

His father watched him intently in between sips of tea. "Where've you been? What've you been up to?"

How to answer that question? Memories flashed in front of his eyes; hearing of Lily's death, starting over at Hogwarts, hundreds of pupils' faces, Albus falling through the air, a pair of malicious red eyes and the feel of sharp, venomous fangs. "Here and there. Surviving," he answered after a while.

Tobias Snape chuckled a couple of times. " I know how that feels, son." He reached into his pocket and produced a tobacco pouch, then began to deftly roll himself a cigarette. "You know, I always wanted more for this family than to just survive." He paused, lit his cigarette, then looked up to meet Severus' eyes. "When you were born I held you in my arms and I promised you the world. I'm sorry I couldn't give it to you." He threw the tobacco pouch to his son.

"Thanks," he mumbled as he rolled one for himself. He hadn't smoked in years, not since his late twenties, but his body was clearly still nicotine addicted.

"You still see that girl, Lily? She were a right catch, that one."

The words stung. "Not as much as I would like." He lit his cigarette and inhaled deeply, allowing the smoke to calm him.

"Well, plenty more fish in the sea, eh?"

Severus snapped his head up to meet his father's eyes. He was enraged that his love could be dismissed with such an old blatant cliche. "What?" His voice was cold, clipped and dangerously smooth.

"Well, Sev, I were just saying, good-looking lad like you, you'll find someone else."

"Never," he replied in a voice as sharp as a knife edge. Images of Lily with her arms entwined with Potter swam sickeningly in front of his eyes. He stood up, a dangerous mixture of magic and anger radiating out from within him.

Fear flashed across his father's eyes; this was the closest that Severus had ever got to losing it in front of his father. His breath seemed to catch in his throat and within moments Tobias Snape was coughing violently, a dry, racking and heaving sound. Severus watched him for a few moments before his anger dissipated and he forced himself back into calm. After a while his father caught his breath back. "I'm dying, son," he said. "Cancer. Not long for this world." He smiled a sad smile without looking at Severus. "I'm glad I got to see you again. Doctors reckon I'll be gone in a few weeks. I reckon I'll be lucky to last that long." He inhaled deeply on his cigarette.

In a flash Severus snatched the offending object from his father's hands and along with his own one threw them into the ashtray. "What are you doing still smoking these then? For God's sake, father, have a little sense!"

His father stood up, leant in towards him and with suprising speed and strength clipped the back of his head. "That were for Blasphemy." Sitting back down he said, "Besides, I'm riddled, son. Too late for me. Don't deny a dying man his only pleasure. Drink your tea, don't want it getting cold."

They passed a few moments in an uncomfortable silence, each man lost in their own thoughts.

"Where you staying at the moment, then?" asked Tobias into the silence.

"No where in particular." More uncomfortable silence.

"You need a roof over your head?"

Severus merely nodded.

"There are plenty of blankets in the airing cupboard. You can sort out your old room." Tobias Snape got unsteadily to his feet. He looked tired, terribly shaken and there were tears in his eyes. "I mean it son. I'm glad you came back." He held out his hand towards Severus who gingerly shook it. "I'm tired. So tired. Sleep well, son." Severus watched his father walk shakily out of the living room and ascend the stairs. He closed his eyes and exhaled a breath that he had been unaware of holding. Within moments he passed into a restless sleep in the armchair, plagued by nightmares of snakes and lost love.


	5. Chapter 4

**A/N Wow. Two updates in one day. Don't know what has become of me! This is a very mean chapter in which I've made our dearest Sevvie very sad. Mwahahaha!**

Severus became vaguely aware of an aching in his neck and lower back. He desperately tried to ignore it, as tired as he was. As he shifted to try and ease the aching he became aware that he was not lying down, but in a sitting position. Understanding began to seep into his sleeping mind; he was at Spinner's End, he had fallen asleep sitting in the living room, his father was alive and upstairs, and Lily... Lily was alive too! His eyes snapped open.

The living room was as he had left it last night. A clock on the mantle pronounced that the time was 6:27 in the morning. His stomach groaned and he wondered when his body had last eaten. Staggering into the kitchen he made a bowl of porridge and some coffee. He wondered if he should make anything for his father, but decided to leave him sleeping for now. The food and caffeine revived his body and mind, but for his ill father he figured the best remedy was sleep.

He looked out the kitchen window to the unkempt back garden. Weeds choked all the life away; his mother's rose garden had clearly long been abandoned and left for nettles to take over. The weather seemed to reflect his own mood, the sun had not yet fully risen, and the dark clouds threatened rain.

He tried to figure out what to do with his day; he had to wait until 9 p.m. for his meeting with Albus. For the first time in as long as he could remember he had a day to himself, to do with as he pleased. All he wanted was to see Lily, even if she refused to see him.

He showered and re-dressed himself, making a mental note to try and figure out the last place he had stayed (and therefore find his few meagre possessions and other clothing) and decided he would head to Godric's Hollow and try to speak with her. Any moment in her presence would be bliss, and the idea of seeing her again pervaded his every thought.

His father was still asleep and so instead of disturbing him, Severus wrote him a note explaining that he had important business and that he would return later that day. He then turned on the spot and emerged moments later on the outskirts of Godric's Hollow.

It was raining here already and within seconds Severus was utterly drenched. He didn't care; the thought of seeing Lily burned within him like the sun's warmth as he headed into town.

He knew exactly where the Potters lived. He had visited the burnt out ruined house so many times in his previous life, laying flowers at the scene where his love had died. As he walked the early morning streets he was able to glimpse through the windows tiny little snippets of the life that was held within. Mother's getting their children ready for school, husbands kissing their wives goodbye as they headed out for work, an elderly woman feeding her beloved pet dog. Ordinary people with ordinary lives and Severus envied every single one of them.

Before he had time to mentally prepare himself he was there, in front of their house. A light was on downstairs and curtains were drawn across the window, preventing Severus from seeing the occupants within. It was strange seeing the house as it always should have been; preserved and whole, rather than left in the half destroyed state and charmed to appear normal to muggles. He crossed the road and stood, leaning against a lamppost and watching the house. He knew how suspicious this would look to strangers but he simply didn't care. He didn't care about the torrential rain falling around him that had soaked his clothes through to the skin, he didn't care about the icy wind blowing through the streets and he didn't care that the cold and rain were making him shiver and shake. All that mattered was keeping his eyes firmly on that window, as any minute now his Lily would appear. He had to be sure that she was there, living, breathing, whole.

He had no idea how long he had been standing there when at long last the curtains in the window were drawn and there she was. The glow from a lamp behind her created a halo behind her head, the imagery of which brought tears to Severus' eyes. She had always been his shining angel. She was wearing a dressing gown, making her small pregnancy bump almost invisible, and her hair was tousled and messy as if she had only just awoken. To Severus she was the very image of perfection and it was all he could do to stop himself running towards her.

Something within the house made her turn her back to the window. Severus saw the form of James Potter approach her and she flung her arms around his neck. He swept her up in his arms and kissed her passionately. Severus' heart was pounding frantically in his ears and although he felt faint he forced himself to keep watching. James put his wife down and Severus watched his hands enter her dressing gown. Lily was giggling as James rested his hands on her stomach; had Lily just felt her baby, the infamous Harry Potter, moving inside her? After a moment a look of surprise and joy was showing on Potter's face.

Bile rose rapidly in Severus' throat. The dizziness that had threatened to engulf him moments before returned in abundance. He fell to the floor and was immediately sick. Tears were streaming down his face and he needed to leave that place but his legs were failing him. As soon as he stood nausea and faintness overcame him, and he was forced back to the floor. He heard someone approach him then felt a hand on his back. A woman's voice. "Are you ok? I saw you fall. Do you need an ambulance?" He looked up and saw a middle aged woman dressed in muggle clothing looking down on him, a look of concern on her face. He shook his head. "I've never seen you before, do you live near here? Have you just moved?" He shook his head again. She paused, unsure of what to do with this young man. "Do you need me to telephone someone for you?" Once again Severus shook his head. He glanced back at the Potter's window; Lily and James had also noticed someone collapsed in the street and were peering out in concern. Moments later James appeared at their front door.

Severus stumbled to his feet and backed away, almost knocking his good samaritan over. He had to get away. "Hey!" shouted a familiar voice. Too late. Potter had spotted him. Thankfully even James Potter wasn't stupid enough to attempt to curse him in front of a muggle but he had to run.

"Oi! Snivellus! Get back here!" He could hear James behind him, gaining on him. If he could just get away from muggle eyes to the edge of town he'd be able to disapparate back to Spinner's End. But he was weak and cold and soaked to the bone, and James had always been more athletic. He could hear the footfalls getting louder as James gained on him.

_'Just a little further,'_ he thought desperately. _'Just a little further, please, please...'_

The next thing he knew he was rugby tackled around his waist and the ground was rapidly approaching him again. He tried to twist out of James' grasp but the other man was much stronger. Severus was turned over on to his back and pinned down. He tried to push James away in vain. He felt James' fist connect with the side of his head and stars swam sickeningly in his vision. "What are you doing, Snivelly? You spying on us? Huh?" Another punch, followed by another, this time to the other side of his face. "How'd you know where we live? Did little Peter tell you? Working together with Voldemort, where you?" Another punch. Severus feebly threw his hands up to try and protect himself. In the distance he heard a woman's voice, possibly his good samaritan calling out, "I'm calling the police!" For a split second James was distracted but that was all he needed. Severus reached inside his pocket, grabbed his wand and muttered '_Depulso'_ under his breath. James was thrown off of him, giving him enough of a headstart to duck out of sight around a corner and disapparate home.

* * *

Back at Spinner's End Severus stumbled through his front door into the hall. He caught sight of himself in a small mirror. One of his eyes was puffy, swollen and barely open, and there was blood coming from a cut in his lip. His nose looked broken. Nothing he couldn't fix. He looked around the corner in to the living room. His note was still on the coffee table, where he had left it. Clearly his father was still asleep. He would wake him with tea as soon as he had fixed his appearance somewhat. Severus put the kettle on then walked back to the small mirror in the hallway. '_Episkey_' he said whilst pointing the wand at his nose. He winced slightly as the bones healed back into place. He repeated the spell on his lip and the cut healed instantly. The bruise would be a little more tricky; he would need to brew a potion that could remove the bruise and unfortunately had no means of doing so for the time being.

Sighing he walked back to the kitchen and made two large mugs of tea. He left one on the coffee table in the living room and taking the other ascended the stairs to his father's bedroom.

He knocked on the door. No reply. He knocked louder. Still no reply. He opened the door. His father was still sleeping. Severus put the hot, steaming mug on the bedside table. "Father. Father, I made you tea." No reply. "Father."

He knew something was deeply wrong. His father hadn't moved at all. He tried to shake him awake and instantly let go. His father's skin was cold to the touch. He was gone.


	6. Chapter 5

**A/N: Well, this story is like buses. You wait two years for an update and then three come along in a single day. Yeah, sorry about that, I'm excruciatingly busy all the time, and just had to force myslef today to actually have a day off. Bonus of which, of course, has meant a whole day to be able to sit down and write! And I guess seeing Alan Rickman's performance in the final film made me fall in love with Snape all over again so I'm feeling all inspired.**

**Anyway, feel free to leave a review. Smashing.**

He was numb. There was nothing he could do and he was utterly numb. How was he supposed to feel? Had he forgiven his father? He didn't even know. In his previous life he had allowed his father's death to pass him by. Had the shock of seeing his again, the fear caused when he almost allowed his anger and rage and magic to get the better of him, sent his father to an earlier grave? He had been back in this world for just one day. Was he already responsible for a death?

He backed out of the room and turned away. He had no idea what to do or where to go, he just knew he didn't want to be here. Alcohol was what he required. Alcohol, now, in large quantities. His father had promised him he was dry. Time to find out if his father's word was worth anything.

He turned the house upside down. He tried every cupboard in the kitchen, the living room, his father's bedroom, even the bathroom and the attic. Nothing. His father had been telling the truth. How long till the pubs opened? He had no idea, but it was the only thing he could focus on. Still wet from his previous excursion he stepped back outside. The rain here was still only threatening rather than actually falling and his wet appearance coupled with the black eye was attracting strange looks from passers-by. He didn't care.

Outside he wandered the streets of his home town back and forth. He spent an hour sitting on the swings in the park where he had first spoken to Lily. Finally he heard a distant church bell chime 12 o'clock midday. His meanderings became more purposeful as he started to hunt down the nearest pub.

Minutes later he found himself in the saloon bar of the Crown and Anchor. There were two other men already in the pub, unshaved, bent low over pints, the weight of all their own respective problems weighing heavily on their shoulders.

Severus approached the bar. He had no money but that didn't matter. "Whisky, please. Double, and a pint of cider."

The barman eyed him suspiciously for a moment, then procured the drink from one of the optics. "Ninety-eight pence." He said, handing the glass over.

Severus' wand was in his hand, hidden under his sleeve. He rested his arm on the counter and whispered the word '_Confundus._' "I've already paid you," he said out loud.

The barman looked confused for a moment, then as a half formed false memory passed over his mind he apologised and looked embarrassed. "Of course, sir. Apologies."

Severus took his prize over to a small table next to a dirty window. His father had always turned to drink when things got on top of him when he was younger. As the realisation that he was indeed his father's son hit him he downed half the pint in a single gulp.

He looked at his present surroundings. Grimy, tobacco stained walls, and grimy, tobacco stained people. He had never felt more at home.

He thought of Lily and how happy she was with James. The thought made his breath catch in his lungs. He downed the second half of his pint and followed it with the whisky chaser. He stumbled back to the bar. "Same again. I've already paid." The _Confundus_ charm was clearly still working on the barman as he drew off two more drinks and handed them over without question.

Severus slunk back to his darkened corner. Outside the rain had started to fall; he could hear the tapping of the drops against the window pane. In the distance thunder began to roll. He almost laughed at how much the weather was reflecting his mood.

He sipped at his pint. Lily had comforted him so many times as a child when his father had been blind drunk. What would she say if she could see him now? He guessed he would never know. Why did he go to Godric's Hollow. He knew nothing good would come of it. Why had he returned to Spinner's End last night? Why hadn't he just gone to a hotel and stayed there? He was a curse to everyone and everything around him.

He needed more drink, but wasn't sure he'd be able to pull off the _Confundus_ charm again when he'd finished his pint and whisky. He'd have to do it now. He approached the barman once more. "Bottle of whisky."

"This isn't an off license, sir, we can only sell alcohol for consumption on the premises."

"That's fine."

"That will be five pounds and twenty pence then, please sir." The barman placed the bottle on the bar top whilst Severus made a show of looking through his pockets for the money. He looked over at the other two men in the bar. Both were already drunk and in their own worlds. They hadn't noticed anything. Severus reached for the bottle and at the same time pointed his wand directly at the bar man's face. _'Obliviate,'_ he whispered.

The man's face went slack and Severus was able to take the bottle and hide it under his jacket. He quickly finished his other illegally procured drinks and left the pub. He strode directly back to the park to sit on Lily's favourite swing, where he proceeded to drink with no other purpose than to obliterate all thought.

Time was passing by in leaps and bounds. Every now and then he'd hear the distant church bells ringing out the hours. 4 o'clock. 5 o'clock. 6 o'clock. Such was the benefit of drinking to forget. Although some things were impossible to wipe from his mind. What was his purpose in coming back here? He was struck by an unpleasant thought, but one that seemed to explain everything. '_You're dead, idiot. You're dead and in hell. What did you think would happen? Fucking useless moron._'

7 o'clock. 8 o'clock. 9 o'clock.

He took a final swig from the bottle and unsteadily made his way back home. The world was spinning as he lurched through the streets, just another useless bum from the rough end of town.

He practically fell through the front door, unable to co-ordinate his own body properly.

The lights were on. Someone was already there.


	7. Chapter 6

**A/N This is rather a short update I'm afraid, but I felt it best to end this particular chapter where I did, and you'll get a longer one next time, I promise. Toodles!**

He didn't care who had broken into his home. The walk home had compounded his feelings that this was simply his own private hell. It didn't matter who was in his house. There was nothing he could do to escape his fate. In his drunken stupor he explained this to the intruder.

"Can't kill me, m'already dead." He started to laugh a completely humourless laugh. "Always thought hell'd be colder. Ninth circle. Traitors." Two pints of cider and over a bottle of whisky prevented Severus from staying upright and focusing on his intruder. Instead he came crashing down through the hall and fell through the narrow doorway into the living room.

A pair of hands helped him into an armchair. "What torments have y'got fer me? Not 'fraid of you." Severus could vaguely see a humanoid shape in front of him, but he was unable to focus at all.

"I'm not here to hurt you."

"Fucking crap devil you are."

"I'm not the devil."

"This isn't heaven."

"No, I quite agree that it isn't."

"Then m'in hell."

"Why would you be in hell?"

"Fucked up. Traitor. He's dead. Harry. Dead." Severus began to weep. "Failed. I'm sorry, Lils. I'm so sorry."

"Tell me, who is Harry?"

"Potter. Fuck you."

A pause. The humanoid figure leant in towards Severus' face. Severus was vaguely aware of feeling like he was being x-rayed. After a moment the figure spoke. "How old are you, Severus?"

"Thirty eight." He began to laugh a completely mirthless laugh. "Life begins at forty. Shoulda waited a coupla years. Fuck it. Had enough. Go on then, do yer worst."

"I am sorry to tell you that your father is dead."

Severus laughed once again, although there was no humour in it. "S'alright. We both belong down here."

Another pause. "I think we should continue this conversation with you sober, Severus." The humanoid figure stood up in front of him. Despite himself, despite his words that he wasn't afraid of further torment, Severus tensed himself in the chair. A hand moved in front of his eyes. Severus coud immediately feel the alcohol being purged from his body. It was not a pleasant experience. Wave after wave of nausea swept over him, while the alcohol began to seep out of his pores in a cold sweat. A pounding headache began behind his eyes and spread over his entire cranium. His vision slowly returned, the light from the room piercing his eyes.

Worst of all was the realisation that in his terribly innebriated state he had babbled certain delicate information to none other than Albus Dumbledore.

"Good to have you back, Severus," said the old man, his eyes twinkling. "You were late to our meeting, so I felt it prudent to seek you out."

"Uhhnh," Severus grunted by way of a reply.

"I also heard from James Potter today. He was rather concerned that you knew the whereabouts of their address. Other, of course, than our dear friend Peter, do any more Death Eaters know where members of the Order live?"

Severus tried to shake his head but the movement produced too much pain for his hangover-addled head. He merely shrugged instead.

"I see."

There followed a long pause whereby Albus seated himself and peered at Severus over he top of his specacles. He seemed to be waiting for Severus to make the next move, to volunteer some information. However Severus kept his mouth firmly shut.

"Your father has been moved. He is currently in the morgue at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital. There will be a post mortem to determine the exact cause of death, but it appears to be natural and you are not a suspect in that regard. I suggest that you contact the hospital as funeral arrangements will soon need to be made. In the meantime, you are clearly aware, Severus, that I used Legilimency on you a moment ago. All your guards were down. I saw some very interesting things." Dumbledore paused again, waiting for Severus to join in the conversation. The younger man kept his council. "Tell me, how did you die?"

The question visibly shook Severus, but he still refused to co-operate.

"Would it help if I told you that I died when I was fifty one, during a fierce battle with Gellert Grindlewald?"

Severus' head snapped up. "What?"

A sly smile crept across Dumbledore's face. "Make us both some tea, Severus. This really is a thrilling tale."


	8. Chapter 7

Severus returned from the kitchen with a mug of tea for Dumbledore and a strong black coffee for himself. His mind was posiitvely reeling both from the shock of what Dumbledore had told him and from his self inflicted headache. Could it be true? Had Dumbledore experienced something similar to him in his own past?

He sat down in the threadbare armchair facing his old Professor and placed the mugs on the table between them. Dumbledore took his, sipped at it and sighed his appreciation. "Where to begin?" he whispered to himself.

"I am sure you are aware that in Nineteen Forty Five I was able to defeat Grindlewald in battle. What is less known is that in our youths, Gellert and I were close friends. Indeed we were closer than friends. I confess that I loved him.

"We had wild, crazy ideas about wizards and muggles. My young sister was ill and had to be kept hidden from everyone, muggles and wizards alike. Grindlewald convinced me that she was ill _as a result_ of being kept hidden. We felt that wizards no longer needed to be in hiding, and that we should lead our magical brethren forward. In being out in the open. I was blinded for too long by my love for him, and didn't see what he was becoming. Even when we parted company and he delved further and further into the Dark Arts I turned a blind eye, convinced as I was that the good in him would win over.

"I was asked, time and again to put a stop to him. Time and again I made my excuses until it became apparent that I could no longer ignore him. Rumours reached me that he was raising an army, readying himself to come out in the open, to place all muggles under his subservience one and for all. I could not allow that to happen and so I faced him at last. As you are aware, I won the battle and to this day Grindlewald remains locked in Nurmengard.

"That is only half the story. What would you say if I told you that at one time I helped Grindlewald achieve his aims? That I stayed by his side and wizard kind was known amongst the general populace at last, and muggles were crushed beneath our heels?" Dumbledore paused to drink his tea, all the time looking at Severus. "Hard to believe, isn't it? But there we were, side by side, crushing anyone who defied us. Nurmengard was full of any who had opposed our plans, and any muggles who tried to rally against us 'disappeared.' Muggles became like slaves to wizard kind and all the time I kept deludng myself that it was all for the best; that eventually the muggles would thank us. As long as I had Grindlewald by my side, as long as I deluded myself that he loved me as I loved him I was able to ignore the suffering. We took Britain first, and then other Dark Wizards in other countries, enamoured by what we were doing, followed our example."

Severus sat rapt, despite the pressure in his temples, while Dumbledore brushed a stray tear from the corner of his eye.

"One day I woke up. It had been a long time coming, I recall. I was responsible for escorting a young muggle man to Nurmengard for the crime of refusing to bow low before Gellert as he passed by. I took him to his cell, feeling guilty that he was being unfairly punished for such a small misdemeanour. The prison was overflowing with muggles and wizards young and old. Some where kept there indefinitely, some where held only for a matter of days or weeks before they too 'disappeared.' There was a young woman locked up with a screaming child, no older than about four or five. I asked her what her crime was. She told me a wizard had wanted her. Her husband had stood up to the wizard and as a result had lost his life. As a punishment for his impudence she had been locked up with her young child for the last seven months. Her belly was swollen. The wizard had repeatedly raped her, left her pregnant and locked her up along with her young daughter. She begged me to spare her daughter, she begged me to take her away and hide her . My heart broke as I listened to her pleas.

"Nothing was worth what I saw that day. I swore I would overthrow Grindlewald. He was no longer the young man I had fallen in love with; he had become monstrous. I promised the young woman I would help her in anyway I could.

"As Grindlewald's right hand man I was afforded a certain level of priviledges when it came to prisoners. I was able to request transfers from the guards without arousing suspicion, and immediately I requested of the guards that the woman and her child be released into my custody. I told the guards their time had come and that it was time for them to be executed. They were released to me without question. I was easily able to smuggle them away. I found them a house in the middle of the countryside, no neighbours for miles around. I placed a Fidelius Charm over the house so that they would be safe. Once a week I visited them and made sure they were safe and happy. I comforted myself that I had helped, that I had saved innocent lives.

"However, a fire had been lit inside me. One family was not enough. I took it upon myself to save more. I began setting up safe houses around the country. I would visit Nurmengard and take people away from there, placing them under my direct protection. No one questioned me. No one ever suspected me.

"But it was still not enough. I needed help. So far I had only rescued muggles from Nurmengard and made it my mission to rescue witches and wizards as well. I persuaded them to help me look after those in my care already, and help me set up new, stronger protective spells. I had a vision of creating an entire village or town that could be placed under a huge Fidelius spell; the inhabitants would have to stay there to remain safe, but they could live normal lives without being under the spell of fear that Grindlewald and I had placed the rest of the country under.

"Gradually more and more wizards came forward to us. Whispers had reached them of a movement that was working against their oppressive overlords. Imagine their surprise when at the head of the resistance movement was none other than yours truly, one of the hated wizards who had set up the terrible regime in the first place.

"And so we worked, tirelessly, hiding muggles, finding safe places for them to live, smuggling prisoners away from Nurmengard. I have no idea how many souls we saved from that terrible place. Finally it became clear that there were enough of us to overthrow Grindlewald. He was more powerful than any wizard had ever been. And I knew that it would have to be me to take him down.

"I finally faced him. My army against his. He was saddened that I had changed my stance but happy that he would no longer have to share power. The battle that ensued was terrible. I have no idea how long it lasted, but many, many witches, wizards and muggles died that day. Grindlewald had eyes for no-one else but me in the battle, and likewise I fought no-one but him. No-one else dared to get close to us. Eventually we were both weakened enough for one or the other to win. I was the lucky one. His curse struck me directly over my heart.

"Why was I lucky? If I had won that battle I am certain the world would have been a much worse place. By dying trying to do the right thing I am certain I was given a second chance at life. A chance to right a terrible wrong.

"I awoke at my mother's funeral. I remembered the day clearly. I didn't understand how, or why, but I knew that a decision I had made there affected the future in a terrible way, and I had a choice to change it.

"My brother was trying to point out what a fool I was. Grindlewald tried to silence him with the Cruciatus curse. Originally I had allowed this and fled with Gellert. That was my mistake, I knew that. I stood up to Grindlewald, I stopped him from torturing my dear brother but a fight broke out and..." Dumbledore paused in his story, pain etched across his features. "My little sister was dead. Grindlewald fleed the scene. I thought that would be enough. I convinced myself that not being together would prevent the terrible deeds that Grindlewald had performed. To the most extent I was right." He smiled a self-effacing smile. "So, Severus. What mistake did you make? What are you doing differently this time?"

Severus was utterly in shock. His mind was in turmoil. If what Dumbledore had told him was true... And why wouldn't it be? "Where do you want me to begin?" he asked the elder wizard.

"Tell me everything."


	9. Chapter 8

A fresh cup of coffee in front of him and a cigarette in hand, Severus began to recount his tale. "Originally I told the Dark Lord what I had heard of the prophecy. That one single act put me into his inner circle. On the thirty-first of July Lily gave birth to her son - Harry." Severus paused to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat. "Not long after his birth, the Dark Lord decided that Lily's son was the one to whom the prophecy referred. He announced his intention to go after the family. I begged him to spare Lily. He agreed but I was concerned for her safety. I came to you and told you of his intentions. You agreed to keep the family safe and I promised you my life and loyalty in return.

"You did your best, but every one of us was deceived by Pettigrew. A Fidelius Charm was placed over them, and we all believed Black to be the Secret Keeper. Unbeknownst to us all Lily and Potter decided to make Pettigrew their Secret Keeper at the last moment. They told no-one. Pettigrew delivered them directly to the Dark Lord." Severus paused again, taking several deep inhalations on his cigarette. "He went there on Halloween night, Nineteen Eighty-One. They thought they were safe. The Dark Lord broke into their home. He killed Potter and went for young Harry. Lily tried to stop him." Severus broke in his story, as several tears fell from his eyes. "He told her to stand aside but she refused. She begged for Harry's life in exchange for hers. He refused to accept and killed her too. He then tried to kill Harry, but somehow the curse rebounded upon himself."

"The curse rebounded?" repeated Dumbledore. He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Did he die?"

"Everyone thought so. Everyone except you, that is. You were convinced he would return. You sent Harry to live with his Muggle relatives and made me promise I would do everything in my power to keep him safe."

"And Harry? Did he suffer any side effects from the curse?"

"He did. He seemed to share a connection with the Dark Lord's mind. At first it manifested as a sharp pain when the Dark Lord was near or angry. As he regained his power this connection became stronger; Harry could sometimes see exactly what the Dark Lord was doing and thinking. He also had the ability to speak Parseltongue. You concluded that part of the Dark Lord's soul had attached itself to Harry's own when the curse rebounded, and it was this that had forged the link between them."

"So I correct in my hypothesis? Voldemort returned?"

Severus shuddered at hearing the name of his former master. "He did. It took a few attempts but he came back."

"Describe these attempts, please."

Severus took a moment to collect his thoughts. "His first attempt was the year Harry Potter began at Hogwarts. Your friend Nicholas Flamel's Philosopher's Stone was threatened and so it was moved to Hogwarts. You had all of us teachers put every protection we could think of on it."

"You were a teacher at Hogwarts?"

Severus smiled a tight smile. "Slughorn will be retiring at the end of the next school year. You hired me as his replacement."

"And I am sure you did an admirable job. Please continue."

"To cut a long story short one of your members of staff, Quirrell, was being possessed by the Dark Lord's broken spirit, sharing his body. He convinced this man to attempt to steal the stone. His attempt was thwarted by Potter and his friends. Potter got to the stone first, and so the Dark Lord tried to steal it back from him. He couldn't touch him; Lily's sacrifice gave him protection. The Dark Lord fled from Quirrell's body, killing him in the process."

"And this happened in Harry's first year at Hogwarts?" Dumbledore asked. Severus nodded in the affirmative. "Quite a feat for an eleven year old. When did he next try to return?"

"You could say that he nearly came back during Potter's second year, although that was not of his own doing. The Dark Lord had kept a diary of his time at Hogwarts, a diary that had the power to open the Chamber of Secrets. He had preserved his sixteen year old self in this diary and given it to Lucius Malfoy to keep safe. Lucius had other ideas, however. He slipped it to the youngest Weasley child as an act of spite. From what I understand the diary appeared blank but when written in, the Dark Lord's young self wrote back. She poured her heart into this diary and thus he was able to possess her. She re-opened the Chamber of Secrets. He had fed on her private thoughts and fears to the extent that he was able to physically leave the diary. He was almost real. He would have been too, had Saint Potter not stepped in once again."

Dumbledore leant forward. "Harry thwarted him again?"

Severus jerked in his head in a manner that was vaguely reminiscent of a nod. "He slayed the Basilisk that dwelled there, and using one of the Basilisk's fangs punctured the diary. The young Tom Riddle who was physically manifesting disappeared."

"What a remarkable young man," said Dumbledore in a low voice. "To have defeated Voldemort three times before his thirteenth birthday."

Severus looked away in irritation. "He was lucky," he bit back. His head was still pounding and being reminded of Potter's achievements threw his own failings into stark contrast.

Dumbledore seemed to understand and did not press the matter further. "I am interested more in this diary, Severus. I should very much like to see it. I am most concerned as to how Voldemort managed to preserve his memories in such a form. Do you believe Lucius is in possession of it now?"

"It is possible, I suppose."

"If there is any way at all that you could procure this diary for me to look at, I should be most grateful. I feel we could learn a great deal from it."

Dumbledore's tone was light, but it was clear that this was a serious mission. Severus nodded. "I don't see how, but I will try."

"Thank you, Severus. Please continue your story, I am finding all this most enlightening."

"He finally returned during Potter's fourth year. Pettigrew had been exposed the year before as the traitor that he was and had escaped. He found the Dark Lord's broken self and helped him grow in strength to regain a rudimentary body. They kidnapped Harry, and used his blood to create a potion that brought him back to full health. He was not supposed to survive, however when he and the Dark Lord duelled he was again unable to kill. Potter was able to return to Hogwarts with the news that the Dark Lord had finally returned."

A small frown creased Dumbledore's brow. "I take it he used Potter's blood in order to negate Lily's sacrifice. How was Harry able to survive a duel against Voldemort without that protection?"

"From what I understand it was their wands; they were twins. The wands shared a core and so they could not duel properly. Yet again Potter survived through luck."

Dumbledore nodded his understanding. He looked over at Severus who looked ready to collapse from exhaustion. "Severus, if you feel able I should very much like you to accompany me to Hogwarts. I have one or two theories regarding Voldemort that I should very much like to share with you and gain your opinion on. I am also quite convinced that you will feel much more human after the house elves have prepared you a good meal."

Snape nodded his acceptance. He felt simply too tired and too hungover to disagree. Together they stepped outside into the cool night air and twisted into nothingness.


	10. Chapter 9

**A/N Thanks for the positive reviews! Don't forget to hit that little button after reading! Cheers everyone, and enjoy ;)**

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Severus wasn't sure what to expect when he arrived back at Hogwarts once more with Albus Dumbledore. However he was certainly grateful for the fried full english that was presented to him in Dumbledore's office, becoming more and more human with every bite.

Almost as soon as Severus had cleared his plate Dumbledore leant forwards. "It has become more and more apparent in recent years that Voldemort has delved much further into the realms of evil than any before him. As time passes he resembles a man less and less, certainly not the young, handsome man he was when he left Hogwarts. Even when Grindelwald was responsible for some of the worst massacres and genocide in history, he still remained physically human, whereas Voldemort has not. I have a theory regarding this. Let me ask you, Severus, what is it that makes us human?"

"Albus, I'm too tired and too hungover to delve in to metaphysics."

The corners of Dumbledore's mouth twitched into a smile. "The soul, Severus. The soul. By committing terrible acts, such as murder, the soul becomes broken and unstable. Voldemort's soul is, I believe, broken beyond repair."

"So how was it that Grindelwald was able to remain human, if his atrocities were worse?"

"I am not certain. We will be entering the realms of wild conjecture here. Have you heard of the term 'Horcrux?'"

Severus shook his head. "Not something I'm familiar with."

"I cannot say I am surprised. When I became Headmaster I removed all books regarding them from the library. Sadly, my predecessor to the post did not have that foresight, and books regarding Horcruxes were available in the library when Voldemort was still at school. A Horcrux is an object of pure evil. A Horcrux may only be created after committing murder, once the soul is broken. It is used as a vessel to store a portion of a wizard's soul. If a wizard who is in possession of a Horcrux dies, their soul may remain Earth bound. If they are then able to regain a physical form they would return as if they had never died. Does this story sound in any way familiar to you, Severus?"

"You believe the Dark Lord created one of these Horcruxes? It would explain how he was able to survive the night he killed Lily."

"One. Or more. You said that during that attempt part of his soul broke away and latched onto Harry. That to me would indicate that his soul was irredeemably broken and unstable. Who knows how many he may have made?"

Severus paused in thought. This must have been the information that Dumbledore had been sharing with Harry in his previous life. What else did he know from that time that could be useful to them now? Severus racked his brains but no information was forthcoming.

Dumbledore interrupted his train of thought. "I have theorised for a long time over Voldemort's transformation, and speaking to you tonight has solidified my ideas. I am convinced that I am correct. I even have a theory as to what a couple of his Horcruxes may be. As to their whereabouts I am afraid I have no idea. Certain items disappeared when young Tom Riddle was around. I knew from my very first meeting with him, when he was a mere eleven year old boy, that he was prone to stealing. Certainly there have been no less than three valuable and historic artefacts that have been 'misplaced' around him."

"These artefacts are...?"

"A cup that once belonged to Helga Hufflepuff, a locket that was once Salazaar Slytherin's and a ring that was owned by one of the Peverell brothers. The locket was once owned by Voldemort's mother, the ring by his grandfather so it could be argued that he had some right to those, at least. However, he came by them through murder and deceit. What became of these items I don't know."

"Why choose such high profile objects?"

"I think that Voldemort would feel that using such objects for his Horcruxes would increase his mystique. He would view them as proof that he was the greatest, most important wizard of all time. You are possibly unaware, as it is not the kind of information that he readily broadcasts, but Voldemort is a half-blood, abandoned by his Muggle father. His witch mother died at birth and he was raised in a Muggle orphanage. He was ashamed of his up-bringing and sought instead to fortify his magical heritage as Slytherin's last descendant. Hogwarts was the first place he felt truly at home and if I am not mistaken he was looking for objects from each of the founders."

A memory jumped to the forefront of Severus' mind. "You are correct. I am sure you are correct. The night I..." Severus swallowed a lump in his throat. "The night I died the Dark Lord was convinced Potter would be coming back to Hogwarts. He told me to hide and wait for him in Ravenclaw Tower. Why would Potter be going to Ravenclaw if not to look for something related to the founder or for something hidden there? He was right. Potter did show up in Ravenclaw Tower as predicted. What he was looking for and whether or not he found it, I am afraid I have no idea."

Dumbledore's light blue gaze penetrated Severus for a moment. "How old did you say you were when you died?"

"Thirty-eight."

"And Potter was returning to Hogwarts? So this would have been the year after he left school? Was Voldemort in control of Hogwarts?"

Severus was able to hold Dumbledore's eyes for only a moment before he looked away. "Technically this was during Potter's final year. But yes, the Dark Lord was in control of Hogwarts."

"And where was I?" Dumbledore's tone was light and conversational.

Severus shifted uncomfortably in his seat. He became very interested in looking at the various magical instruments that were whirring gently on the spindle legged tables in the room. He coughed slightly to clear his throat. "Dead."

"How inconvenient. How did that happen?"

Severus had been watching one of the portraits on the wall picking his nose. He was an exceptionally old and frail wizard who clearly wasn't given particularly to manners. The portrait paused for a moment in his nasal excavations to listen to Severus' reply. "You told me to kill you." Severus bent over, his head in his hands. "You were dying. I tried to save you but you were cursed. You had barely a year left. At this time Lucius Malfoy's son, Draco, had foolishly joined the Death Eaters. He was given the impossible task of killing you. It was supposed to be a punishment for Lucius; he had been a bitter disappointment to the Dark Lord, and making his son try to kill you, knowing that he would fail and have to pay the ultimate price was his penance. You made me promise that, as you were dying anyway, I would not allow Draco to become a murderer. After your death the ministry soon fell and the Dark Lord took over. I went almost over night from being the most wanted criminal in the country to Headmaster at Hogwarts."

"I am touched that it is only my being alive that keep our government together," said Dumbledore with a chuckle.

Severus fell silent for a moment. His mind was occupied by the memories of killing Dumbledore, the fear he felt before and after the event, the anger he felt at Dumbledore calmly telling him it would have to be done. His breath caught short in his throat. The day Dumbledore told him he would have to become a murderer, the day Dumbledore had been cursed... Severus pictured his blackened hand and pictured the cause... A gold ring with a large black stone... _A ring..._ "You found one of them," he said quietly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"I told you that you were cursed. It was because of a ring. You found a ring. It was there on your desk, broken. You had tried the ring on and it had cursed you. I was able to contain the curse in just your hand but I was too late; it was the kind of curse that would only strengthen over time. Could that have been the Horcrux?"

Dumbledore leaned forward in his seat. "Do you know where it was found, Severus? Can you give me any more information?"

Severus shook his head. "I have no idea where you found it. It is possible that you found another, however. The night I... the night you died, you and Potter had been away somewhere. You warned me to keep an eye out, that you were concerned Death Eaters would try and take Hogwarts whilst you and Potter were away from the castle. You would not tell me where you had been but you were right. When you returned you were terribly weakened. I do not know what happened or where you had been wth Potter. I wish I could help more."

"Severus, you have already helped more than you could possibly realise. You have confirmed theories that I have been working on. I also believe you have helped me locate a Horcrux that until now I was entirely unaware of. I have never heard of a diary being able to possess someone. It is my belief that this diary may well be one of Voldemort's Horcruxes. I really cannot impress on you enough how important it is that we get hold of that diary. If it is already in Malfoy's possession it may well be possible to find in his Manor. How close are you to Lucius?"

"We are certainly on speaking terms. He may even consider me a friend, even if I am not an equal in terms of stature and nobility." Severus yawned widely as exhaustion caught up with him.

Dumbledore looked at the young wizard and spoke with real concern. "You have been through a very great deal these last few days. Stay here tonight and sleep. Tomorrow is a new day and we can start a fresh. We have a lot of work ahead of us and I will require you to be at your best. A room will be made up for you if you wish."

"Thank you, Headmaster."

Dumbledore stood up and Severus followed. Together they descended the spiral stairs to Dumbledore's office. Severus numbly followed along in Dumbledore's wake, walking down corridors and through passageways until they found themselves outside a wooden door not far from the library. "You may stay here as long as needed. Sleep well, Severus."

Severus watched as the older man swept away down the corridor. Feeling as though he could sleep where he stood, Severus pushed the door open.

A four poster bed was made up already, with a set of black pyjamas neatly folded on top of the pillows. A steaming mug of hot chocolate was resting on a bedside table. A door in the room led through to a compact but comfortable bathroom. A tube of bruise paste sat beside a toothbrush and toothpaste by the sink. Smiling slightly, Severus dabbed some of the paste around his eye, feeling the swelling go down immediately. He went back to the bedroom, pulled on the clean pyjamas and collapsed on the bed. He was asleep as soon as his head hit the pillows.


	11. Chapter 10

**A/N - Hi everyone, sorry this took a while, I was busy working on a 16 day straight stint, and then when I finally had some time off the recent London riots took place, practically down my street, so was a bit affected by them, then following that had a few health problems, then another 10 day stint so writing was at the bottom of my priorities. Phew though! Glad it's all over (touch wood). Then there was the added problem that this was a difficult chapter to write. Hope you like it though!**

* * *

He woke slowly, more comfortable than he had been in many years. He rubbed the sleep from the corners of eyes as he remembered that he was in guest quarters at Hogwarts.

The small bedside table next to him carried a tray laden with fresh coffee, croissants, butter, honey, jam and marmalade to which he readily availed himself. With each bite the magnitude of what had to be done to defeat the Dark Lord became more and more apparent. Where to begin? He thought again of Lily. Helping Dumbledore would surely prove to her once and for all that he had changed his ways. The thought of her ignited a flame within him. He was determined more than ever to firstly win her forgiveness, then her approval.

He was shaken from his reverie by a knock at the door. He quickly dressed feeling ever more disgusted at his lack of clean clothing and made a mental note to double his efforts to find his own lost possessions, or at the very least try to obtain some new ones.

It was Dumbledore, looking far more alert than Severus himself felt. "I trust you are well rested, Severus?" Severus nodded his assent. "Good. I would like you today to pay a visit to Lucius Malfoy, if you feel able. I am not expecting you to return with the diary tonight, merely try to glean some information as to its whereabouts." Severus nodded once more whilst Dumbledore's gaze penetrated him. "Severus, I know that what I am asking of you is dangerous and difficult. However, you have proven that you more than capable of coping with anything Lucius can throw at you. If you can lie to a wizard as powerful as Voldemort for years, survive death itself and still be willing to fight as you are, then dealing with Lucius Malfoy should be simple. I will leave you to go when you are ready. Good luck, Severus." Dumbledore gave Severus a small half smile and gently closed the door, leaving him alone.

* * *

Forty-five minutes later Severus had apparated to outside Malfoy Manor. He drew nearer to the wrought iron gates cautiously, vague plans forming in his head but unsure of exactly what he was going to do. The fleur-de-lys patterns in the iron gates began to swirl until a grotesque face appeared in them. It spoke in a voice as dry and croaky as rusted nails. "Who approches?"

Severus rolled up the sleeve of his left arm, exposing the Dark Mark imprinted on it. "Severus Snape. I am friend to Lucius Malfoy."

The patterns in the gates slowly moved back into place, then the gates silently swung open. As Severus neared the Manor he noticed Lucius himself, leaning against the doorframe and looking utterly relaxed. "Severus," he drawled, "We haven't had the pleasure of your company for a while now." He took in Severus' rather unkempt appearance and with a slight smirk said, "Good Lord, man, you look terrible. Why don't you buy some new robes?"

"That is one of the downsides of being unemployed and technically homeless."

Lucius smirked once more then stood up and gestured for Severus to follow him inside. They went directly to a comfortable sitting room, where Narcissa was sat reading in a grand armchair by a roaring fire.

She stood up and greeted him warmly, her stomach even more prominant than Lily's had been. "You look radiant, Narcissa," Severus inclined his head towards her.

She waved her hand aside dismissively. "You flatter me. I think we both know I look fat, Severus." Her tone was light and she was smiling; she knew how well pregnancy suited her. "Please have a seat."

"Thank you."

"Elf!" Narcissa called, just as Severus seated himself. A small House Elf with enormous watery eyes appeared in a filthy pillowcase, the edge of which he was nervously pulling. One of his ears was rather heavily bandaged. Severus looked at him curiously. "Elf, we have a guest. Bring refreshments." The elf bowed low and backed out of the room. Lucius carelessly kicked him on his way past.

Severus had never had much truck with House Elves, but this particular Elf, if memory served correctly, was pivotal in the original destruction of the diary. If there was any way he could force the Elf to communicate, there was a possibility of locating the diary in this reality.

"It has been a while, Severus," said Lucius as he walked further into the room. He sat down regally upon one of the throne-like armchairs. "Where have you been staying?"

"Here and there," he replied non-comittally.

"You have had a roof over your head, then?" asked Narcissa. "You look as though you've been sleeping rough. You know, Severus, if money is a problem..."

"It isn't a problem," Severus snapped. "Not any more, at least." He arranged his features into a smirk. "My dear father has died. As his only living relative the house will pass to me."

"My dear Severus, that is wonderful news!" said Lucius just as the House Elf returned with tray bearing fine china tea cups, a matching pot and a wide variety of cakes and biscuits. "I trust you had the pleasure of dispatching the old man yourself?"

"Sadly no, that pleasure was denied to me. I take solace in the fact that he died friendless and alone." Somewhere deep within him something stirred as the reality of the words he had spoken hit him. His cold mask remained firmly in place, however.

"Indeed. Well, this at least solves one of your problems," replied Lucius. Narcissa shifted slightly in her seat, her face wary.

"What do you mean?"

Narcissa caught her husband's eye. He hastily said, "You have your homelessness problem resolved. Now if we can solve the unemployment-"

"That is not what you meant. Be honest with me, Lucius."

Lucius held his wife's gaze for a moment longer before looking to the floor. "The Dark Lord is not pleased. I am telling you this as a friend. He wants results. I don't know who it was but from what he has said he had a very effective spy within Dumbledore's ranks who has now been discovered. He does not believe you will be anywhere near as effective. Severus, you must bring him some information soon, he his tiring of you. I have asked him to give you more time, but I do not think my influence will hold sway over him in this matter for much longer."

"Thank you Lucius. I find myself in a similar position with Dumbledore, however. He doesn't fully trust me and as such I have yet to be privy to any such information that the Dark Lord may find useful. I will however double my efforts." At that moment a small flash of inspiration hit him. He leant forwards and took a cup of tea, sipping at it slowly. "However," he said, as the idea was forming, "I may be on the verge of a break-through with him. I have been experimenting with a potion based around the ingredient Wolfsbane recently. I have a theory that if brewed correctly I could make a potion that would render werewolves harmless."

Lucius laughed out loud. "Why would you want to render them harmless? Using them as weapons is the only thing they are useful for. Severus, I advise you to stop this course of action, I do not think the Dark Lord will take kindly to it at all."

Severus waved his comment aside. "You don't understand. Do you remember a boy in my year at Hogwarts, Remus Lupin?" Lucius nodded as Severus continued. "It was not common knowledge that he is a werewolf. Dumbledore allowed a werewold child to attend Hogwarts, fully aware of the dangers."

Lucius and Narcissa both looked disgusted. Lucius added, "I wish I could say I was surprised. Lover of Mudbloods, Muggles and Half-Breeds. I can only hope the fool is gone by the time our child attends."

"Quite. However, his love of people and creatures that are an affront to the rest of us is an easily exploitable failure. He is still friends with the werewolf. Indeed the two work closely together in their efforts to halt the Dark Lord. If I can perfect this potion and present it to them, surely I will have gained their trust."

Lucius nodded thoughtfully for a moment. "It is certainly worth trying, and I will be able to tell the Dark Lord that you are at least being proactive."

"Thank you, Lucius. I will, however, require some help. I believe that this potion may well require two pairs of hands during the development stage. You are too busy helping the Dark Lord and looking after your dear wife, but I wonder if I may make use of your House Elf, just for a while?"

Lucius and Narcissa exchanged a bemused look. He said, "I am sure we can find someone far more suited. That Elf is a danger to himself and all around him."

"I am sure he would suffice. It will be very boring and menial work, I would not wish to trouble any one of superior intelligence with such a task. Will he take orders?"

"Only those issued from us."

"Can you order him to follow what I tell him to do, to the letter?"

"I could. However I am not sure this is a wise idea, Severus. While I am away Narcissa requires that Elf to do her bidding and look after her."

"Then permit me to borrow him solely whilst you are here. I am hoping to have this potion ready soon, and the sooner it is ready then the sooner I might place myself firmly within Dumbledore's ranks."

Lucius thought for a moment, his cold grey eyes hard. "Very well. Elf!" he called. Instantly the cowering creature appeared in the doorway. "Come forward." The Elf ventured forward slowly and hesitantly, as if the last place in the world he would want to be was in that room. "This is a good friend of mine," Lucius said, indicating Severus, "and he requires assistance. You will go with him and do as he asks. If I hear anything that would suggest you are a burden and not a blessing to his work you will be punished most severely. Do I make myself understood?"

The tiny Elf nodded his head, and bowing low squeaked, "Y-yes, Master."

"Thank you, Lucius," said Severus, standing, "I am most indebted to you. If I may be permitted to use him tonight, I can leave now and prepare for a solid evening's work."

"Of course. Summon him when you are ready. I will send a message to you if he is required back. here."

Severus shook Lucius' hand, gently clasped Narcissa's small hands in his own then turned to take his leave. Once alone with the House Elf he would be able ask leading questions and hopefully find out if the diary was already in Lucius' possession. Despite his outward composure his heart was racing as he left Malfoy Manor and Apparated back home.

* * *

The hospital was still awaiting the results of the post-mortem, and as such Severus could not yet claim his father's body and begin funeral arrangements. The last few days felt like a lifetime. It seemed impossible that he had regained a family and lost it once again within a twenty-four hour period.

Severus had returned to Hogwarts and confided his plan to Dumbledore who congratulated him on his ingenuity. "You will have to be very subtle in your questioning of this Elf, Severus. We do not want Lucius to know what you are planning."

"Do not worry, Albus," he replied, then hesitated a moment before adding, "I have no supplies of my own, however. If I could be permitted to take what I require from Professor Slughorn's stores?"

"Whatever resources Hogwarts can supply are at your disposal."

"Thank you." There was another question he wished to ask, but was unsure of how to phrase his request. He was desperate for money but far to embarassed to ask. Dumbledore seemed to anticipate his other worry and said lightly, "Severus, as you are now, in one capacity or another, working for me now, it would be only polite and proper for me to reimburse you financially. After all, running around and spying on Voldemort's actions, and sneaking around in Lucius Malfoy's Manor do not tend to leave the individial much time for regular work." He reached into a pocket in his robes and drew out a small bag filled with coins. "Here. Until I can think of an official job title for you that can place you upon Hogwart's accounting books, I will see to it personally that you no longer have to resort to Confunding Muggles in order to feed yourself."

Severus nodded his thanks and took the purse from Dumbledore, unable to meet his eyes.

"Well, that clears that up. Good luck, Severus. In the meantime I shall be conducting my own searches."

"You believe you know where the Horcruxes may be hidden?"

"I am not certain. But I have one or two promising leads. If they prove correct I shall confide in you. Once again good luck, Severus."

Soon after Severus apparated back home to Spinner's End, a bag full of Potions ingredients taken from Hogwarts, and a feeling in his stomach that he was walking a tightrope over an angry volcano, that he would trip and fall in at any moment.


End file.
